SERIES: The Life Edit: Everyday Advice for Soulful Living
The quiet power of nine months, and why every reset starts with surrender.
The Nine-Month Challenge of Change
Every major breakthrough begins with a breakdown. Between the ages of 39 and 42, I lived it — the closing of one life and the quiet beginning of another. During this time, I realized that this was not the first time I had to start all over and change. But it was the first time I paid attention to how long everything in my life took to transition into a new lifestyle. The difference is that I had experienced it before — and that’s when you start saying to yourself, “Oh, I’ve had this happen before.” But back then, every change came with fear. Now, I just surrendered in trust. Because I realized I had made it up until this point through all these changes, and it kept getting better and better. So I thought, I’m going to just let go and trust that it’s going to get even better. But change came at a price each time.
Change requires letting go. Sometimes everything: your home, your family, your friends, your city. It’s terrifying. But necessary. Because if you stay in the same environment, how can you become the version of yourself that lives inside your vision?
Fear Is the Teacher
Fear doesn’t disappear until it teaches you something. It lingers, pushing you into corners until you make a move. Panic keeps you stuck in cycles; patience moves you through them. Every ascension — every real spiritual shift — begins with a purge.
First it starts small: a haircut, decluttering a drawer. Then it grows: selling a home, quitting a job, ending a relationship. Each stage of growth has a fear-phase. Your only task is to surrender through it.
Do It as a Challenge
Think of the creators you see online. They start small — a TikTok here, a story there. No plan, no strategy. Just a feeling. They don’t know where it’s headed. But they keep showing up.
And that’s the point: don’t interfere with the unknown by needing a plan. Maybe your interference is the plan. The feeling, the spark, the impulse — that’s where it begins. Show up. Let it grow.
This is what I call the Conveyor Belt Theory: stand still, stay open, and let divine timing carry you forward. The work appears. The direction becomes clear. The transformation happens.
Why Nine Months?
Because change takes time — real time. I’ve seen this with everything:
- Leaving a job
- Beginning a workout routine
- Starting a writing or creative project
- Decluttering a home
- Healing after a breakup
It’s not overnight. It’s not 30 days. Start with 90. Then trust the nine-month arc. That’s when it hits you: I’m not who I was when I started.
It’s Just Like Childhood
Look at children. Every few months they outgrow their shoes, their clothes, their emotional worlds. You can see it happening. But we forget to track our own growth as adults.
No one’s watching us — until one day we catch our own reflection and realize we’ve changed. Or we haven’t. And only we can decide what happens next.
When you’re a parent, you manage a child’s growth. But who’s managing yours?
The Birth and Death Parallel
It takes nine months to bring life into the world. And in some ways, it takes nine months to leave it too.
My mother had a massive stroke and heart trauma in March 2020. Over the course of nine months — the same time it took for her to be born — she slowly left this world. She died in December.
That timeline changed me. It seeded this whole theory.
Try This:
- Ending a relationship? Clear your heart. Commit to nine months of no contact. See how you feel.
- Want to declutter your home? Start small. One drawer, one shelf, one room at a time.
- Starting from scratch in fitness? Walk. Breathe. Move daily. Let nine months show you what’s possible.
And if you fall off? That’s okay. That’s part of it. Starting over is the practice. Failure just means you were trying. And the trying matters.
Once you do this with one thing, you’ll want to do it with everything.
Let yourself transform. Nine months at a time.
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