Creating space to focus, feel, and finally grow.
SERIES: The Life Edit: Everyday Advice for Soulful Living
The Energy Cost of Distraction
Sometimes, if you’re trying to focus on your goals, you’ll uncover more distractions than expected. Focus takes dedication, determination, and consistency — and that starts with energetic boundaries.
Every idea begins in the mind. And it takes time, attention, and energy to bring that idea into the world. That’s why your time and energy must become a priority — especially if you’re being led by something that won’t leave you alone.
Saying no is boundary-setting for your nervous system.
This morning, my friend called me at 8:30am. But this happened to be one of those rare mornings where I had a fresh batch of ideas already flowing. I was already writing. I knew, based on our patterns, this would be one of those “commute to work” calls that would stretch to an hour.
Now, that hour — to her — was just something to pass the time. But to me? That was 1,200 words. That was clarity, momentum, alignment. That hour could’ve pulled me out of flow.
So what did I do? I missed the call. I kept writing. And as a result, I finished my new content. Then I ate breakfast, meditated, and when I felt clear, I reached out. If she could talk, great. If not, I’d understand.
Because something as simple as picking up the phone can drain my focus, flatten my energy, and derail my day. And if that happens — if I lose my morning — anxiety creeps in. The guilt. The “I’ll just start again tomorrow” trap. And I hate that mentality.
I need to do what’s best for my nervous system. Believe it or not, working for me relaxes my nervous system — because I’m heading toward a goal. But distractions and people-pleasing drop me into a lower vibration. And once I’m there, it’s much harder to climb back up.
Saying No Is an Act of Protection. Saying no is boundary setting for you.
I don’t have a start time. I work with my body. I listen to my thoughts. And I’ve learned to prioritize that over people-pleasing.
Create Your Own Work Style
This is why boundaries aren’t just about other people — they’re about preserving your energy for what matters.
I’m not someone who works 12 hours a day or sticks to a strict 40-hour schedule. Every day is different. Sometimes I work for 2-3 hours. Sometimes it’s a long 8-hour stretch. But I don’t track hours. I track energy.
Even when I’m not at my computer, I’m thinking. Observing. Downloading. Most of my best ideas arrive away from the screen. That’s when I open a notebook, jot it down, or sit down and let the words pour out.
That’s how I work — and I had to unlearn a lot of patterns to get here.
Burnout Culture & The Hustle Lie
When I worked under other people, I had to prove I was always working. That led to anxiety. Weight gain. Smoking. Complaining. Constantly venting on the phone.
I once worked at a millwork company I loved — but I had no self-regulation. I worked 60+ hours a week, weekends included, for four straight years. I sacrificed my life. And sure, I was praised. But here’s the trap: when you’re glorified for working hard, you just work harder.
I remember a colleague who’d say, “Leaving at 4:30? Must be nice.” So I stayed. Eventually, I was rolling out 54 retail stores across the world — while he did eight. Turns out, he was just slow.
Also: he was a father and a husband. I was single and in my 20s. But I started to realize — why was he working late? To avoid his home? It was eye-opening.
That’s when I stopped glorifying hustle culture.
Build a Business Around Your Life
When I left that job and started in real estate, I built a business around my lifestyle — not the other way around. For five years, I didn’t have to work every day. I worked in creative seasons.
Then my mom died in 2020. I lost my footing. I joined a team. I went back to the grind. Burned out — again. And when I looked back, I made the same amount of money working my way as I did hustling nonstop.
That’s when I knew. I could never go back.
My Advice for Entrepreneurs
Starting from an idea is overwhelming. You’re not supposed to have all the answers. Start with instinct. Inspiration. If an idea hits at 8pm — write it down. Because there will be mornings you won’t feel like it.
Trust your body. It’s part of your nervous system. And your nervous system will guide you — if you stop sabotaging it with guilt and overthinking.
Because here’s what sabotage looks like:
- Talking about the idea instead of doing it
- Letting others hijack your time
- Convincing yourself it’s not useful
- Waiting for permission
The best-kept secret? Do it first. Then talk about it.
The universe might just be using your small idea to move you toward something greater. Maybe it’s not about what the idea becomes — maybe it’s about where the idea takes you.
Maybe that idea is meant to lead you to a lesson. To sharpen your focus. To clear everything that no longer serves you — so you can realign with the people and purpose that do.
Sometimes, that idea is the universe’s way of saying: “You need to go somewhere new… but you can’t get there from here.”
That’s when life starts to fall apart. It’s not the end — it’s a redirection.
So here’s my advice:
Stop and take a good, honest look around you. If you love where you are — keep going. But if you feel like you were meant for more, then face this truth:
If the environment around you could get you there — you’d already be there.
So maybe it’s time to change it.
Because the moment you stop blaming others… you’ll finally take back control of your own life.
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