How We Grow Through Everyday Moments
SERIES: The Life Edit: Everyday Advice for Soulful Living
Story Time
I went to my nephew’s soccer tournament. He’s 8.
A little background before we get started: His parents couldn’t go, so I took him.
In my youth—elementary and high school—I was an athlete. A very good one. Captain of every team. After high school, I even coached a few teams. So sports are not new to me.
I’m 42 now, and I can tell you that a lot has changed since my playing days. For one, I never had a parent attend a game—let alone a practice. But today, you can’t leave your kid alone, so parents are always present.
So here I was on a Saturday, committed to a beach chair on the sidelines. Observing. Because that’s what you’re supposed to do.
Here’s something I always do in public spaces: I observe. What people are saying, doing, how they’re acting—it’s all information.
Game One: Too Easy to Matter
Mattia had two games that morning.
The first one? His team won 13–0.
Parents were thrilled. But I didn’t see a victory—I saw a mismatch.
See, the point of this tournament wasn’t about wins or losses. It was a foundation event, where league officials observe teams to determine where they belong: League A, B, or C. Think of it like the pre-draft stage of a professional athlete’s journey.
It’s also a great time for parents to ask: “Is my child playing because he wants to—or because I want him to?”
From what I saw, some kids didn’t want to be there. And if your child is on the losing team, maybe it’s not a waste of money—maybe it’s a sign to consider other coaching or different teammates.
The takeaway: Don’t criticize. Observe. Extract the lesson.
Mattia’s team clearly belonged in a higher bracket. But a win like that doesn’t foster growth—it only feeds ego. You don’t know how good you are until you’re challenged by players at your level.
And when you get to your level? Expect to be humbled. That’s where the growth happens.
This isn’t a story about sports—it’s a life lesson wrapped in a kids’ soccer game.
Game Two: When the Emotions Hit
Game two rolls around. Again, Mattia’s team is stronger. But this new opponent, while technically weaker, is scrappier.
Now, here’s where things get interesting—where we shift from skill to mindset.
Mattia plays defense. His job: protect the goalie. The opposing striker’s job: break past defense and score. The other kid was aggressive—clearly strong. And after Mattia’s team scored a couple of goals (2–0), things got tense.
The opposing team began retaliating. Shoves. Elbows. Cheap shots.
Classic kids’ behavior—but a revealing moment nonetheless.
Mattia got targeted. And he’s a strong player—but also an emotional one. He started to cry, lost focus, got benched. Came back in—and it happened again.
Parents were now screaming from the sidelines:
- “Ref, are you watching?!”
- “That’s a foul!”
- “Come on, protect the players!”
Even though I was there for Mattia, I stayed quiet. I wanted to see how he would handle it.
His team still won, 8–2. But that wasn’t the point.
The Real Conversation
After the game, Mattia was still emotional.
Soccer moms rushed in: “Don’t worry, you did great!”
Soccer dads offered: “Next time, push him back!”
Both wrong.
Because this wasn’t about blame—it was about growth.
I told him: Today, you learned that you let your emotions get the best of you. And that’s okay—but it’s also a lesson.
I explained that soccer practice is for skills. But the games? That’s where the mental game gets tested.
You can’t practice emotions. But you can prepare for them.
In life, just like in sports, people will push your buttons. At work. In relationships. On the street.
Some will hurt you to compete with you.
Others will admire you and want to grow with you.
But either way—you need to learn to be unbothered.
And that’s a tough skill. But it can be practiced.
I told Mattia: Only strong players get picked on.
And the moment someone focuses on taking you down, they’re no longer playing their game. That’s when you win.
Emotionally intelligent players aren’t rattled. They strategize.
People who want to grow—whether in sports, work, or love—don’t tear others down. They build everyone up.
That other player? He was angry. So he got physical.
Mattia? He got emotional. So he cried.
Both reactions are normal—but neither are productive.
What you witnessed, I told him, was jealousy in action. And jealousy is just insecurity in disguise.
The ability to be confident, calm, and unshaken can be learned—even if you weren’t born with it. It starts with emotional control.
The Long Game of Emotional Growth
Now, I explained all of this to Mattia—but I also know he’s 8.
And just because we observe something and share a life lesson, it doesn’t mean it will stick right away. Whether you’re the teacher, mentor, coach, or even the version of yourself becoming newly aware, you must accept that emotional growth takes time. Awareness is just the first step.
The goal is to plant the seed. Say it out loud. Offer a new perspective. Introduce a new way of thinking.
I had Mattia repeat what we discussed—not to test him, but to see how he interpreted it in his own words. And while I don’t expect a dramatic shift by next Saturday—or the one after that—I know the message landed somewhere.
Emotional control is just like physical training. It takes repetition, patience, and timing.
Maybe he won’t apply it in soccer. Maybe it’ll be years from now, during a job interview, a friendship challenge, or his first heartbreak. But one day, in the right moment, it will click—and that’s when the lesson becomes his.
Where This Matters in Life
This isn’t just a soccer story. It’s a mirror for how we move through life.
From childhood to adulthood, we move through phases of education, personal development, and emotional challenges. We spend years learning subjects, practicing skills, and preparing intellectually—but no one prepares us for how to handle real-life emotional pressure.
Our first jobs, our first relationships—these are the fields where we put those unspoken lessons to the test. Are we growing together or tearing each other down? Are we managing our anxiety or silently breaking while delivering excellence?
You can master your craft and still feel lost emotionally. You can perform brilliantly at work while crying in silence behind the scenes. Emotional reactions are the hidden currents behind every achievement, interaction, and breakdown.
And just like we learned math, science, reading, or soccer—emotional growth is another subject. One that continues long after school ends.
So if something doesn’t feel right—pause and ask yourself: Why am I feeling this way? What is this triggering in me? Is it me? Is it them? Or is this simply a sign that something needs my attention?
Because in every dynamic, there is the one who gets triggered—and the trigger itself.
And if we’re willing to observe instead of react, we might just realize that life itself is one long emotional curriculum—waiting for us to graduate to the next level.
Mantra
“Not every game is about the score. Some wins are invisible—measured by the growth we choose over the reactions we release.”
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